Tag: Motivation

How Conceited of Me!
This article came about because I felt stressed. I was wanting to create a new social media post and caught myself in a state of believing I needed to be both motivational and wise for you, my audience, and found myself lacking in both insight and wisdom.

It’s the first time I’ve paid attention to the thought, “I need to motivate my audience,” and I thought, “Hell, let’s question it and stick it in the blog.”

My social media feed is mostly made up of content of the likes of Byron Katie, Bashar, Eckhart Tolle and so on. These are people I view as having had “awakening” experiences and the wherewithal to share their wisdom in profoundly simple ways. Reading their content gives me pause to reflect and typically imbues me with a deep peace and acceptance of what is.

So it finally came to my attention the other day that I have been wanting to instill the same in my meagre following, and that such a belief really stresses me out (perhaps you’ve experienced something similar with wanting to impart something on others). I notice I’m left feeling the weight of comparison between myself and those “masters”, viewing my insights as somewhat lacking, chalking it up to having not been labelled “awakened” or “wise”. Whatever words that do come to mind feel somehow childish. I become confused about whether what I’m saying has any inherent meaning. It becomes a case of trying too hard. The thoughts are now convoluted, and any sense of clarity has muddied over. I give up trying to write anything and resign myself to not being “wise enough” – a thought that extends far off into the infinite future. I write off my own experiences and dismiss their importance in the world.

Now, if I pause for a moment and consider who I would be without the thought “I need to motivate you all”, my life suddenly gets a lot more peaceful. I find I can share with the world what I genuinely wish to share – what interests me, without believing I need to manipulate you all into being motivated when you see my posts. It’s interesting how synonymous “motivate” and “manipulate” are when our intention is unclear. There’s a wanting to instill in you the same sense of peace and deep understanding that I experience when I read “wise” posts, however, I notice my intention is not so that you suffer less; it’s so that you see me as “wise”.

Before I continue on, it would be wise (!) of me to share with you that this article is based upon the insight practice of Byron Katie’s “The Work”. The Work is a way of questioning beliefs that cause us suffering in our lives, and at its core is a meditative practice. It’s a way of bringing more awareness into our lives and waking up to the thoughts that we have been blind to, that have kept us in a state of suffering.

It’s a simple method and something I can go into greater detail in future articles. It goes something like this :

Step 1 : Identify a thought or belief that is causing you stress in a specific moment. Write it down in the format:

I am [emotion] with [person] because [reason for emotional hurt].

e.g I am upset with him because he doesn’t respect me.

Step 2 : Ask the following four questions about the stressful thought and turn the thought around, like so:
1. Is it true? (yes/no – if “yes” proceed to question 2, if “no” proceed to question 3)
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes/no)
3. How do you react, what do you think, say or do, when you believe the thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
The turnarounds are a way of questioning if the opposite is true or truer than the original statement. If I use the stressful belief in this article as an example, “I need to motivate people,” and turn it around, I can find three opposites:
1. I need to motivate me.
2. I don’t need to motivate people.
3. They/people need to motivate people.
For each of the turnarounds you look for examples as to why it may be true or truer than the original statement. Sometimes the turnarounds don’t make sense and it’s okay to disregard them.

If you want to learn more about this method you can go directly to Byron Katie’s website.

I don’t need to motivate any one of you, and you will all still manage to live your lives perfectly.

So, going back to me needing to motivate you all, how’s that going for you!?

I notice that the only person that I can ever motivate is myself. Even if it’s reading or listening to someone else’s words, it’s still me who’s motivating me by hearing them. That’s down to what I focus my mind on and the qualities of mind I wish to cultivate. I could listen to a basketball coach giving the motivational speech of his life, but as someone who doesn’t play, it won’t arouse my mind. However, listening to Byron Katie talking about how questioning our beliefs can wake us up to our self-inflicted suffering puts my mind in a state of heightened awareness and motivates me to identify where I suffer.

Therefore, if it’s impossible for anyone/thing to motivate me, there is not a single person in this universe that I can motivate, and gosh, that feels like such a relief. I can recall the stress of wanting to motivate my co-workers and being met with frustration when they wouldn’t rise to the challenge of performing with my idea of excellence. As I see it now with greater awareness, the last thing I want is an audience that is dependent on me for motivation, for whom I could end up taking responsibility. Every single one of us, without exception, carries the wisdom within, and the greatest of teachers always point that wisdom back to us like a mirror.

At this point, I wonder what on Earth I was signing myself up for, believing that I wanted to motivate you. Of course, these beliefs are not chosen; they are conditioned, and it’s amazing that these seeds can be planted and watered long before we have any awareness of them. They grow quietly in the dark, fed by habit, getting louder, until one day, sometimes for no particular reason at all, you shine the light on the belief, making friends with it. You recognise you hadn’t been in touch with reality whenever you had believed that thought and instead had told yourself some story to validate your suffering.

Questioning the need to motivate you all leaves me with the freedom to express myself without needing to be “wise” in your eyes.

In fact, I’m likelier to be happier Being the “fool”.
April 22, 2025
Trust Your Own Path

There is no one else like you. We’re all unique, shaped by different experiences—even within the same family. Considering just the birth order of children alone has a profound effect; the first-born meets parents stepping into the unknown, often wrapped in fear or overprotection. The last-born finds parents seasoned, more confident, perhaps freer to let mistakes unfold. Our conditioning carves distinct paths from the very start.

It’s tempting to cast our eyes around, to measure ourselves against others—gauging how far ahead or behind we appear, based solely on what we can see, hear or touch. We pour time and money into questioning whether we’re on the “right” path, aching to know for sure. And when we convince ourselves we’ve strayed, we suffer deeply—as if we could ever be anywhere but exactly where we are!

What if it’s impossible to stray from your path?

Imagine waking up, brewing a hot cup of tea, and truly feeling that this—right now—is what you’re called to do. For most, it’s a fleeting pause before the mind races to “bigger” things. That’s where we lose ourselves. We fixate on grand moments—those rare, fleeting peaks that claim so much of our thoughts, and time—while the small, daily actions slip by unnoticed. Yet those seemingly, insignficiant moments hold the greatest power.

As I write this, I trust the process. This is my path in this moment, I don’t need to worry about where I’m going next. It feels like my whole life has led me here—not because of what this blog might become, but because of what I am doing now. It could flop, gather dust, or be dismissed as trivial by others. That doesn’t matter. The act of writing it is mine, and that’s enough. If we could see more moments this way—the seemingly small acts of brewing tea, walking, breathing, making the bed —we’d start to feel a deep appreciation for life. It becomes magical. Wonder creeps in when we stop chasing something better and simply witness what’s here. It doesn’t mean you stop living life. I still take action, but I’m not trying to escape in my mind to a “better” place. I trust that everything is my path.

There’s a phrase I’ve heard: “You’re not on your own path.” It’s often aimed at someone caught in habits or choices that don’t seem to serve their highest good, and it is usually served up by worried and concerned friends and family. It is however a judgment, an assumption that one person can play God and know what’s best for another— it wrongly assumes that we can just pick a new path like it’s a coat off a rack. I see it differently. Every step you’ve taken is your path: the friends who fed bad habits, the job that broke you down, the extreme sport that pushed your body too far and broke it. Each choice, each stumble, has been a teacher, giving you exactly what you needed to grow, to overcome, to soften, to let go. Believing you’re “off” your path is disempowering—it whispers that you’ve made a wrong turn, that someone else could’ve done it better if they were living your life. No. You’re exactly where you need to be.

This doesn’t mean staying stuck in harmful environments. Being on your path isn’t passive—it’s active, alive. It’s about moving forward without being shackled by limiting beliefs about what’s possible. Trusting your path means seeing every moment as yours, every lesson as necessary, every challenge as an oppprtunity for growth, and every small act as a thread in the tapestry of your life.

If you want to continue following my journey and finding out how to question limiting beliefs, consider subscribing to receive notifications of when posts go live.

April 8, 2025
What is “Project : JourneyHome”?

At its core, Project: JourneyHome is my way of documenting the process of finding my way back to myself at time of much uncertainty. It began as a quest for a literal home—a destination at the end of a voyage, much like the hero’s journey. But, as with any true journey, I’ve come to see that the external only mirrors the internal.

Within us all is a calling, one that many of us cannot hear. Some people hear these in childhood, and for others, they come later in life. It’s not something that the mind can decide, it’s a matter for the heart.

Age is certainly a relevant factor in wanting to settle down, yet for each of us, this process is unique—a different calling, a different path. To me, this project is about recognizing that we all carry these callings, sometimes tucked deep within not having been heard in a long time. It’s about learning to stop, to let the mud of the mind settle until the water clears, revealing what’s true for us. When we think too much, emotions churn, and the noise of the mind drowns out the stillness required to hear our hearts.

We convince ourselves, and others that purpose is something to be chased with thought, but I’ve found it’s not the mind’s job to uncover it. Instead, it’s in the quiet—in the presence—that purpose whispers. This takes practice, a skill we’re all capable of and were in touch with as children.

The home I seek outside only takes shape after the one within is at peace.

Within us all lies a need to feel accepted, to be at peace in our own lives. Symbolically, the home reflects this: a place of safety, nourishment, and family, where we cultivate our hearts to love those closest to us—and then the world beyond.

My Process

Where do I begin? How far back do I go to show you where I stand now and how I’ve come to see life? For me, it’s only recently that I realized I’ve had a dream all along. As a teenager and young adult, I suffered from not knowing what I wanted, believing I didn’t have a dream. Without a dream, my life lacked direction and purpose. My mind spun endlessly, trying to figure out what I should be doing. Nothing seemed to fit. I saw others walking their paths—leaving university for jobs, traditional careers, digital nomadism, freelancing, entrepreneurship, infleuncers… I don’t dismiss these roads; they’re all valid, all needed. But my heart doesn’t sing.

Then, something shifted recently. I can’t pinpoint exactly when, but I remembered a childhood dream: to live in Africa. Growing up, I’d heard stories from relatives who’d been there, watched films like Born Free that set my heart ablaze. Every Christmas and birthday, I begged my mum for a lion cub. Of course, I was disappointed each time she didn’t deliver—though I can’t blame her for not producing a wild animal! At some point, that dream faded. I don’t recall being talked out of it; it wasn’t that overt. Instead, I think society’s conditioning—school, the push toward university, jobs, and city life—funneled me into believing Africa was for “special” people, other people, not me. I never questioned why I couldn’t go; the belief just settled in, a quiet limitation I didn’t see.

Recently, though, it dawned on me: that dream never fully disappeared. For nearly five years, I’ve been exploring my mind, drawing from Buddhist teachings about desire—how it can overtake us, how we refine it to know what’s true. There’s a difference, I’ve learned, between a fleeting craving and a deep calling. A desire—like wanting ice cream and then sulking when the shop’s closed—is impatient, overpowering, blind, it draws us into suffering. But a childhood dream? That’s gentler. It arises again and again, patiently calling out to be fulfilled. Some might call it God’s voice, the universe’s nudge, or a purpose etched into our DNA. Every cell feels drawn to it. Ignore it, and it’ll return—sometimes loud, sometimes soft. I’m learning to come to trust these callings. I don’t overthink them so much anymore—why this one? Will it succeed? Is it needed? All I know is there’s a loose end to tie up, and when it’s done, the mind lets go. I don’t even know when the mind will let go, it’s always mystery and it’s none of my concern.

Rediscovering the Dream

This dream—to go to Africa—isn’t about fame or fortune. It’s about listening to the inner child who’s been whispering all along, thrilled that I’ve finally heard her. “Yay, thank you!” she says. It’s taken a long journey to reach this point, shaped by moments I’ll share as this unfolds. Some people know their dream early and pursue it; others, like me may have buried it, dismissed it as childish, put it off, or forgetten it entirely. And that’s okay—there’s no one right way, sometimes many other lilfe circrumstances need to fall into place first before we’re ready. What matters is we don’t compare our paths. Each of us has unique lessons, a personal combination to unlock our hearts.

This is where Project: JourneyHome begins. If you’re curious to see how it unfolds, sign up for my latest posts. Through this, I hope to inspire you to listen to your own heart’s calling—whether you’re young or old, rich or broke, shaped by joy or struggle. We all have a childhood dream we can still chase. Let’s find it together.

April 5, 2025
The Bamboo Parable: Lessons on Patience and Growth

Do you have a goal in mind that when achieved will bring you happiness? Perhaps it is money? Or a better job? Or maybe even enlightenment? A goal where happiness always exists in the future but never in the present moment?

It has recently struck me that success is one of those words that is completely illusory, an intangible thing, and the more I’ve attempted to write about it, the more it slips through my fingers. Striving for success is a hallmark of the human condition. Whilst accentuated by a currently Capitalist outlook on modern society, regardless of what point in history we are living, the human mind is in constant pursuit of its desires whilst at the same time actively running away from the things that are undesirable. Why is this a problem you might be asking yourself, I hope to explain as we go along.

To begin with, I would like to share with you this Chinese Bamboo parable I came across at the end of a crypto-news, YouTube video the other day. This is how it goes:

A man, feeling discouraged in the world having neither achieved his goals or changed, sought out his mentor. The mentor asked him, “How long does it take for the giant bamboo to grow as tall as a building? During the first year the small shoot is watered and fertilised and nothing happens. In the second year the shoot is watered and fertilised some more, another year has passed. And another. And still nothing happens. Then on the fifth year, it shoots up to the sky. In six weeks the bamboo grows over 30m tall. So how long does it take for the bamboo to grow so high?”.

“Six weeks”, the man replied.

“That is your mistake”, said the mentor, “It takes five years. Had the shoot not been watered or fertilised at any point during those five years, it would have died. What was happening during all those years? Deep in the earth an enormous network of roots was developing to support the bamboo’s sudden growth. Growth takes patience and perseverance. Every drop of water made a difference. Every step you take makes an impact. You may not see the change right away but growth is happening.”

At first read I found this parable to hold a lot of wisdom in patience and nurturing in the present moment, however when I went back in for another read I felt it missed the point that success is illusory, why would a master be leading this man astray? This was, until I reflected on how this parable is commonly portrayed on the internet; as a motivational speech designed as a call to action – do something, now! Be someone, now! Read more books to make you more knowledgeable. Sign up to more courses to make you better at your job. All this reads as you are not good enough as you are, you need to do better, only then will you be successful.

I would imagine that the master in this story is either a Daoist or a Zen Buddhist and whilst there is no direct reference to the need to be successful, this is what is commonly construed. What is perhaps not taken note of is the reference to nature; why speak about bamboo when the master could have referred to his own “success” or the success of a King or businessman? Perhaps it is because in nature there is no striving, there is no need to monopolise for the sake of it and there is no need to set yourself apart from others, there is only harmony and balance, and this message I feel has been lost. From watching nature we can observe that only the present moment exists. As I water and tend to the veggies in the allotment I don’t witness them having existential crises about not producing enough flowers or having too long a stem, so from this I can deduce that the illusion of success can only arise from a mind capable of projecting into the future and the past, taking us away from the moment that is now. The more time I have spent being aware of my mind and practicing meditation I have noticed how the majority of my desires for success have sloughed away and I become more at one with the courgettes.

Another misconception that I wish to draw attention to is that this parable only references one person making success happen for him; the one watering and nurturing the plant. Whilst we are responsible for turning up in the present moment and nurturing it, we are not single-handedly responsible for the abundance acquired. A whole host of conditions and influences are involved in the lead up to the moments that seem like success has been achieved. Again I believe that in this parable the master does not differentiate between the bamboo and the person caring for it, they are one and the same. It is our thinking mind, the ego, that involves a strong sense of “I” and individuality, yet the “I” is not separate from its environment, it is of it.

What are your thoughts on this parable? Do you feel this is a full reflection on success?

I must admit this topic was difficult to write about as it stirred up a desire in me for this post to be a success! In turn this made me doubt and question all that I wrote and there was much more I wanted to comment on. I had been very aware of the anxiety and stress building inside as my mind became more and more unsettled that when I was able to return to the present moment, it was so joyful and stress free that I didn’t feel the need to do anything, be anyone or convey anything. However, I hope this was helpful to at least one person so that you can allow yourself the moment to step back and breathe and realise you are fine just as you are. There is nothing to strive for, you can be abundant by just existing in the present moment.

If you enjoyed this blog then please click the “Like” button, share it with your friends and drop a comment below letting me know what other topics you’d like me to write about. Thank you as always for taking the time to read my blog, I appreciate each and every one of you.

August 8, 2021