The Currency of Kindness : Insights from Thai Monastic Life

As if often the case with this blog, I return after taking a sabbatical, being somewhat reticent about sharing personal thoughts, opinions or experiences on a platform at a time when the world is so polarised. This feeling is compounded when I question myself as to who actually wants to read my material and am I really qualified to be sharing anything; although these days it would appear that no one is really qualified for any job they are in. Where pride in the mastery of skills over a lifetime, like in ancient Japan, has become somewhat of a distant, on-the-road-to-be-forgotten past around the world.

So here we are. As the online media and social-scape is somewhat depressing, stress-inducing and divisive I thought I would share some of the beautiful aspects of life that still exist and thrive in quiet corners of the world.

Recently I spent 5 weeks at a Thai-Buddhist, Forest Monastery in the Issan province of Northern Thailand at the invitation of my resident-mother. This hasn’t been my first formal stay at a monastery but it was the longest, the last being only 3 days after contracting Covid (a life changing experience) but that’s a story for another time.

The Thai Forest Tradition focuses on a practice most similar to the type of life that the Buddha would have lived, as documented in the suttas, where monks spend their time meditating in the forests under trees, in caves, atop cliffs and leading a relatively ascetic life. Food comes once a day in the mornings from the local lay-people who lovingly donate food to keep the monastic community alive. Beds consist of a thin sleeping mat on the floor, perfect for re-aligning your spine and other joints and everyone pitches in to keep the pathways clear of debris, the community ablutions clean and help in the preparation of any additional food. Not so far into the distant past this would be quite familiar territory for most of our ancestors, it’s frightening how far we’ve come in such a small number of generations.

What I am about to write next is increasingly becoming a bizarre and outrageous thing to say;

the simpler your life is and the less comfort there is in your daily life, the freer and more alive you become.

Comfort kills, first your mind and then your body.

There is a beauty and tranquillity that arises in the mind once it has been tamed to not have a mental breakdown every time it encounters a stressful trigger, such as for example, your clothes being damp, or your back being sore from a hard, night’s sleep or not having consumed the huge number of calories that comes from eating 3 meals a day. The mind’s state of presence grows and where the mind before was tight and focused like blinkers on a horse, now it has become expansive and can see the beauty in the world in places that once before it would not have recognised.

As our mind expands, feelings of kindness and generosity arise too. The mind recognises it doesn’t exist in a vacuum and might even seek out ways in which to be kind to others, to strangers, to animals, not just friends and family whom we easily love.

There were many little, old, grey-haired, Thai ladies at the monastery and one such lady was my team-mate when it came to cleaning and managing the canteen area. I never learnt her name and neither of us could speak or understand the other’s language but that didn’t stop her from chatting away in Thai whilst I nodded away in acceptance – some of the best conversations I’ve had. She eventually left the monastery and in saying goodbye, handed over some crisp US dollars. I was lost for words and equally touched, not knowing why she had chosen me to share her money with or why they were US dollars. I could only presume that our encounter had been a heart-warming one and she had wished to express her gratitude for it.

The Buddha taught that the first step on the path towards enlightenment and the end of suffering is to cultivate generosity to help open the door of our hearts. Moments like the one described are deeply profound and can create monumental shifts in our minds. So if you are reading this, see if you can do something for someone out of generosity, expecting nothing in return. Drop a comment below of your experience to spread the goodwill. We must revel in our goodness rather than wallow in our perceived faults and short-comings.

Much metta to you all.

Comments

5 responses to “The Currency of Kindness : Insights from Thai Monastic Life”

  1. 永井光枝 Avatar
    永井光枝

    Teacher Emily, Thank you for your beautiful post. Your saying, ‘’ Comfort kills, first your mind and then your body.’’ especially struck my chord.
    I finally learned how to wear Japanese kimono-wear, after almost one-year practice (!), and whenever I wear it, I find the constraints kimono-wears allow me to find another dimension of my daily lives. For example, my footsteps become smaller and I cannot walk very fast when I am in kimono-wear, which means I must be well prepared in such things as being ahead of schedules and what to put in my handbag. I need to foresee things and I can be attentive things. Also, when I am tightly held in kimono sashes, I need to use my core muscle which long has been dormant inside me.
    By the way I start drinking apple cider vinegar with mother and I like its flavour. Thank you for your great advice as always.
    See you very soon. Please have a nice day!
    Mitsue
    iPhoneから送信

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Emily Avatar
      Emily

      Thank you for sharing your experiences 🙏 ❤️ It seems to me that there is a forgotten aspect of these ancient practices which is that they were a mind training and taming not just an aesthetic as is perhaps the more common understanding of today’s people. Even the experience you have of needing to engage your core body strength goes to show how undisciplined as a human species we have become. It is perhaps more important than ever that we keep these older traditions alive that train our minds such as tea ceremonies or other practices that cultivate our character.

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  2. Bryan Wagner Avatar

    It’s interesting how much “space” opens up in my life when I’m in a monastery or on retreat. I find I can do without so many hidden addictions, like books and television, shopping, or internet searches. I notice when coming off retreat how difficult it is to continue to have that clear space, I am so conditioned into my addictions. Well said my friend, an interesting perspective. Be well, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Emily Avatar
      Emily

      In many ways, leaving retreats is the hardest time for me in knowing how to rebalance life. As aspects of the worldly world return they feel intrusive and aggressive, a far cry from the gentleness felt in a monastery. I have noticed there too how the untamed mind can create all sort of havoc out of believing one needs to cut out aspects of the worldly world.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bryan Wagner Avatar

        Exactly so. The universe goes on no matter what I think or believe. I can be part of that flow or not. I still have an untamed mind, it reminds every so often! ❤️

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